


Little Popping Sounds

by Anonymous



Series: Tentacular Temptation Series [1]
Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, Sexual Roleplay, Sleep Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: On a lazy Sunday at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob finds out that octopuses have eight arms.
Relationships: SpongeBob SquarePants/Squidward Tentacles
Series: Tentacular Temptation Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956436
Comments: 9
Kudos: 208
Collections: Anonymous





	Little Popping Sounds

**Author's Note:**

> My brain developed this explenation why Squidward and all the other octopuses only have six arms a while ago. And I think SpongeBob deserves to know.
> 
> This fic has a companion piece now called [_Bubble Wrap Times A Million_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26650876).

A typical Sunday morning shift had no customers all day. Probably because nobody knew the Krusty Krab was open every first Sunday of the month. Mister Krabs had decided the change only a couple of months ago, much to SpongeBob’s delight. And even though the grill stayed cold it was a great time to scrub the floors, clean the chewing gum from under the tables, dust the pickle jars, polish the sesame seeds…

Even Squidward didn’t hate it. It was the only Sunday in the week he could take a morning nap without SpongeBob and Patrick yelling outside his house.

So there Squidward was, asleep in his boat, using the book he brought as a sleeping mask. SpongeBob looked over to his coworker while mopping the floors.

 _Good for you, Squidward,_ SpongeBob thought. _Getting your well-deserved beauty sleep. Not that you’re not beautiful already!_

When he admired Squidward’s silhouette which he knew so well, however, something was different. What was _that thing_?

Squidward had his legs dangle lazily onto the floor, but right in between his legs, with two on either side, there was another appendage sticking up straight into the air. A blue little pole with purple on top and two even rows of purple spots on the underside. SpongeBob had never seen it before.

"So that's where his eighth tentacle was hiding!" The seventh one being Squidward's nose, of course. The octopus started squirming when SpongeBob yelled with glee, so the sponge shushed himself to be quiet.

SpongeBob was just so happy about his discovery! He remembered back in school when he had asked about octopuses having eight arms. He always heard they had eight, but whenever he met one, they had two arms and four legs. That made six! SpongeBob had always been a good student in math class, so not knowing had frustrated him. When he had found out that the nose was a “smelling arm”, he wanted to know what the eighth arm did. The whole class had laughed at him then (except the math teacher, whose face went bright red), and the little sponge had not gotten an answer to his question that day.

"Ah, of course, sponge boy! You forgot about ze mating arm, silly", SpongeBob said in his best French marine biologist impression. He wasn’t a child anymore and had found out about mating arms since math class. But that didn’t mean he had seen one before, or had known where it was. He looked right at the newly discovered appendage. "Ahoy there, _matey_! Get it? Because you’re a _mating_ arm? Dahahahaha!"

Squidward grumbled in his sleep. SpongeBob had to stop making himself crack up if he didn't want to wake his friend.

Always eager to learn more about his favorite next-door neighbor, SpongeBob shimmied into the boat, between the cash register and Squidward, to get a closer look. He marveled at the little blue rigid arm with the purple tip. Among closer inspection, the rows of spots were tiny suckers, just like on Squidward’s hands and feet.

 _Interesting._ SpongeBob thought about all the times Squidward had accidentally suckered the sponge when pushing him out of the way, detaching with a satisfying _POP!_ sound. It always made SpongeBob’s skin tingle right where the sucker had been. He wondered if tiny suckers made little popping sounds. His fingers started reaching.

 _Look, don't touch!_ That's what Squidward had told him when they went to the modern art museum together last week. (Or maybe Squidward had gone on his own and SpongeBob had followed him? He doesn't remember.)

SpongeBob was determined. _Look, don’t touch!_ Look at this newly discovered part of Squidward’s anatomy. Observe small suckers pump rhythmically with the octopus’s heartbeat. Examine milky fluid bead up at the purple tip. Watch a spongey fingertip absorb the fluid.

Whoops. He had looked _and_ touched. SpongeBob gave himself half points for getting half the instructions right. “Just like at the museum, remember, Squidward?” SpongeBob whispered and looked at his finger, slightly swollen with the liquid it had just taken in. Squidward’s mouth, visible from underneath the book, which was slowly slipping off his face, morphed into a frown. Oh no! Was his friend in pain? _This is why you don’t touch, SpongeBob!_

“Ngh, Mister Inkswell, please….” Squidward moaned in his sleep.

 _Inkswell…_ _Oh! The book!_ That’s what SpongeBob owed the pleasure of meeting Squidward’s mating arm to. Thank Neptune, Squidward wasn’t in pain after all.

SpongeBob knew everything about Squidward’s favorite series of romance novels, _Tides That Bind_. He read them many times sitting in Squidward’s bedside chair, waiting for Squidward to wake up so they could watch the sunrise together. (Squidward always kicked him out of the house before they could, though). Octavius Inkswell was the romantic interest of the young protagonist of the series, Miss Squidsley. But their love was forbidden and there were a lot of racy scenes where bodices where ripped off. _Whatever a bodice was,_ SpongeBob thought. _I know it’s a mating thing._ SpongeBob had concluded that Squidward liked the books because he put himself in the role of the charming but aloof Mister Inkswell. But now he was dreaming _about_ Mister Inkswell, which ment…

“That’s what you get for concluding things about your friends, Bobby Boy,” he said to himself. “It makes a Concle out of you and Ding.” Squidward was clearly imagining himself as the lead, getting ravished by the handsome octopus with the broad shoulders and rock-hard abs.

It’s like playing pretend. Fun! SpongeBob wanted to play pretend, too.

But he knew how much Squidward hated being woken up, especially during a Sunday shift. Well, if Squidward can pretend while sleeping at work, and SpongeBob is his coworker, then he can join him, surely. He carefully climbed out of the boat and stood next to Squidward. He cleared his throat, which almost woke up Squidward.

“What the…. hngh….”

“Sorry, Squidward! I’m just trying to-” he continued to talk in a deep, smooth radio voice. “-become Mister Inkswell.”

SpongeBob didn’t know how octopus noblemen from the English Channel spoke, but he knew that Squidward had always liked to listen to the guy on the smooth jazz radio channel. He happily sighed every time the voice announced the next song.

“Oh….” There it was. That happy sigh.

“Miss Squidsley, I simply must have you,” was a line SpongeBob remembered from the books. SpongeBob’s lips almost touched Squidward when he whispered into his ear.

“Mmmh… well if you must…” Squidward mumbled.

“I do. I will kiss your lips, up here, and down there.” That’s another thing about octopuses. Apparently, they have two sets of lips. But where? SpongeBob didn’t see any when he got in the boat with Squidward. He hopes he didn’t get it wrong and that he was playing pretend well.

“Yes, please… oh Octavius!”

Nevermind, SpongeBob had nailed it! He was so happy to play pretend with Squidward who wasn’t even yelling at him. And now Squidward was touching his mating arm.

 _I guess touching yourself isn’t against the rules_ , SpongeBob pondered. _And he’s not looking. Maybe you can touch if you don’t look. Yes, that must be right._

“Oh, my sweet Calamarabelle!” SpongeBob was proud he remembered the first name of the novel’s heroine. It was quite the mouthful. Squidward must have liked it, too, because he sounded very happy as his hand slid up and down his mating arm hard and fast, and there was more moisture beading up on the tip.

It made little popping sounds as he touched the underside. Just like SpongeBob had hoped.

SpongeBob’s skin started tingling with excitement. The same excitement he sometimes felt at bedtime thinking about the next day and all the great things he would get to do. When he was in such a state, he had to calm himself down, and there was only one way to do that.

SpongeBob’s fingers were dancing over his pores, rubbing around the rim like he was itching them. It was kind of an itch, he thought. And he had to scratch it so badly right now. He closed his eyes. _Touch don’t look! Wait, was that right?_ It was hard to think and touch at the same time.

It felt good to touch himself. It felt great to hear Squidward touch himself, the little popping sounds growing faster and faster. It would be _amazing_ if Squidward touched him. One of SpongeBob’s fingers made its way inside a pore, right over his chest. Squidward’s mating arm would make beautiful sounds inside his pore.

“Squidward!” he yelled.

“SpongeBob!?” the sponge’s eyes flew open just as Squidward’s did. The book had slipped onto the floor and the coworkers were looking right at each other. “Ugh!”

Where there once was a bead of white fluid shimmering like a pearl, now a thick strand of white was erupting from Squidward’s mating arm. And another one. And another. Oh, and a little bit more. Squidward groaned and doubled over like he had been punched in the gut every time it happened, his many legs twitched and his body had a purple hue all over, like his face did every time he yelled at SpongeBob and the blood rushed to the surface of his skin.

 _Oh barnacles_ , SpongeBob thought as Squidward slipped off the bench and turned into a blue puddle at the bottom of the boat. _I said Squidward’s name. I forgot about the smooth voice. I failed at playing pretend. And now he’s so mad he’s going into shock._

“Squidward are you okay?” The sounds coming from the puddle were that of abject misery.

When Squidward stood up, reintegrated into octopus form, he calmly adjusted his shirt, carefully tucked his no longer rigid mating arm into a fold ( _That’s where it was this whole time!_ ) and turned around to look his neighbor and coworker, SpongeBob Squarepants, in the eyes.

“SpongeBob.”

“Squidward.” Maybe he wasn’t that mad after all?

“What. The actual. *DOPLHIN SOUNDS* WERE YOU DOING JUST NOW!?!?!”

SpongeBob had no time to respond. The door to the manager’s office slammed open and Mister Krabs emerged.

“By Neptune’s lacy undergarments, what is going on, Mister Squidward!? Why are ye yelling at the boy?” Oh no, Mister Krabs sounded irritated, too. Like someone had roused him from a nap as well. But Squidward was not intimidated, matching their boss’s irritation and then some.

“Mister Krabs! I was reading my… and then I must have fallen asl… and then I… and Sponge…” Squidward deflated, like a cephalopod trying to squeeze into a can (they can do that, SpongeBob watched it on TV once before Gary came in). Squidward sighed. “Nothing. Nothing is going on, Mister Krabs. Right, SpongeBob?”

SpongeBob smiled. They’re back to playing pretend again! “Nothing at all, Squidward! I have never even read _Tides that Bind_.”

Mister Krabs was suspicious but also too tired to deal with his employees’ shenanigans on this lazy Sunday. “Well, back to work, then, boyos.” He skittered back into his office.

As soon as the door closed, Squidward’s hand was pointing right at SpongeBob’s face. “Not a word about what happened today. In fact, it never happened! Got that?”

“Aye, aye, Squidward!” SpongeBob saluted him. He was getting a second chance at playing pretend with Squidward, and he wasn’t going to mess it up this time.

“Oh Neptune, this is humiliating.” Squidward mumbled to himself.

There was just one more question on SpongeBob’s mind.

“Absolutely humiliating.”

Something he was still curious about.

“I’m going to have to move town. Change my identity.”

And he just had to ask it.

“I’ll grow a beard and live in the woods among the Smellies. Become their king.”

“Squidward?”

“That actually sounds pretty nice.”

“Squidward?”

“What, SpongeBob?”

“What’s a bodice?”

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea for a comic I never drew. Maybe one day someone else will feel inspired by this and draw it.
> 
> Comment if you liked it!


End file.
